Wednesday, December 14, 2005


I just got some really shit news... The J-Term class that I was meant to be teaching in January at River Falls has fallen through due to a lack of enrolment.

Wow. Kids didn't want to spend eight hours a day in a computer lab for three weeks? What's wrong with them? Huh? I ask you!?!?!?!?!

Well... Actually, that was rhetorical.

Anyhoo... I'm still a bit in shock, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. It's funny. That damn course was actually the sole reason that I ended up coming back to the U.S. After the wedding, and after seeing my friends from the States whilst they were guests at the "affair to be remembered"... I honestly thought about staying. I had realised that I didn't "miss" home, I missed my friends and my mother. Once I had seen them, I didn't really feel the need to come back to the States. But...

I had this course to teach. I had to come back. I had done lesson-plans, and was actually rather excited to do the course.

Both My Lady and I have been experiencing some problems with the States, and with our futures, and work, and et cetera. Dealing with something that our immigration lawyer termed "reverse culture-shock" a depression about returning to your former home, and dealing with the fact that it was AGAIN one's home. Okay... Perhaps there's some of that. I admit that I felt very at home in Britain, and wasn't so sure about my homecoming.

Then... The one reason that I came back, has now fallen through.

How am I meant to feel? Seriously. That's a real question. I mean... I don't really know how I feel about this little issue. I've always believed that the fates were fickle. But this just takes the cake.

I have to believe that there's some higher reason that My Lady and I are going through these problems, and that somehow, my loss of this work-experience fits into some higher plan that the fates have drawn out for me... But me being simply human, I do not have the foresight to see through to the end of this current path.

I was meant to be in the States. I was meant to experience these problems, and issues that have been heaped upon my shoulders. I am supposed to be in the States, and the fates knew that I wouldn't have returned unless I had felt an obligation to my old alma mater... But what? What is the reason? I'm ready to KNOW now. Please.

Before I really DO crack up, and my wife has to commit me.