Oscars, et al...

Yeah, yeah... I realise that everyone and their mother's cousin is going to be blogging about this one today.

(Okay, that was a broad and stereotyped statement...)

But I wanted to throw out a couple of comments about it. I realised that after watching the entire programme last night, for the first time in six years, that I never actually SEE any of the Oscar contenders. Like at all. I haven't seen "Crash" or "Brokeback Mountain" or "Memoirs of a Geisha" or "King Kong" or any of them.

That's why I don't usually WATCH the bloody Oscars. The only reason that I saw the programme last night, was because My Lady wanted to watch them "for real, in real time" for the first time ever. (She's British, and this is her first time in the States... For those who don't know us.)

"Crash" won best picture over "Brokeback Mountain"... Blah... Blah...

"Reese" blah blah...

"Clooney" Blah.. Blah...

"Three Six Mafia" Now... That was fun... But still... Blah, blah...

All we REALLY care about is the dresses, right folks? Who looked good, who looked awful?

Couple of spots to see the offending/defending dresses:

BBC-Entertainment

People Magazine On-line

• Michelle Williams... Yellow just doesn't work, even on pretty blondes. 'K?

• Charlize... You "can wear anything" is a myth that has ended due to your dress last night... What the HELL was with the shoulder bow thing? Was it for catching an occasional sneeze? A pillow, for if you fell asleep? What? Man... You are one of the most beautiful women on the planet, and you looked down-right silly. Was that the plan?

• Kiera... You have NO CHEST! But you look absolutely STUNNING in your dress! Good going, girl. That Vanity Fair cover, where you're naked? Not so good. Don't show up naked anywhere. You have a very pretty face, girl... But the whole anorexia thing you have going just doesn't do well without plenty of fabric draped on you.

• Reese... People didn't like the dress... I think you looked stunning. Loved the dress, lady... Loved it.

• Nicole Kidman... You are stunning, as always. However, the whole "Blonde" thing really has me depressed. You are a gorgeous red-head... Stop looking like a washed out "über-blonde" chick... It's not a good thing.

• Rachel... Congrats on the Oscar... Best supporting actress, good on you... Nice job with the empire waist dress, displaying and celebrating your bump! You're glowing, and gorgeous, darling!

• Ziyi, love... You looked STUNNING! My god, are you beautiful. By the way... I'm sorry that the western press keeps writing your name as Ziyi Zhang... When we all know that it should be Zhang Ziyi. It's funny... That's how it was written in the press before, until they figured out that your first name wasn't Zhang... Then they switched it around. Just so you know... There are quite a few of us that know that in China/Korea/et al... The family name is written first... We DO know that... And so, forgive the press, okay?

• Salma, Miss Hayak... You were, by far, the most beautiful woman at the Oscars. The blue dress... The asymmetry, Your face, your hair... Your poise... WOW! You blew all the soft-skinny-sickly looking blondes AWAY! You are a star!

Well... I could go on... But I've been catty and "gay" enough today. Have a good Monday, readers!

-- Tuckmac